tell her we've been lickin' coconut skins

acryl auf pappe, aug '10

nur mal so in 10 min hingerotzt um farbe zu verschwenden.
und zu üben.
und um die neuen pinsel auszuprobieren. hauptsächlich das.

does she know we've been hangin' out?

let's go, kill some cuntz

 i hate these damn WHORES!!!!!!!!!!!!
and i hate myself for letting this infect me so much............
FUCKIN BITCHES!
ima bust some heads soon....
seriously, if they don't get a grip, ima catch a fuckin' case!

carpet-day

kreide uff bordstein, '10

 crazy how he still makes me shiver calling me, telling me he comes over after work.

everyday the same.
but still after nine months it makes me grin.

school's overrated anyway...

6,4 x 8,9 cm, 21/10/10

i know that she knows i'm not far from his skin.
why we always end up closer than close,
or fighting like cats and dogs.
dunno why i'm tryin' to do this to myself, this whole friendship-thing.


achso: charakter nennt sich sugar, (c) bei irgendsonem weib, wollte nur ausprobieren wie das so mit nach vorgaben zeichnen läuft.
ging ganz gut....
usually i'm not very into this whole fantasy-thing, but it was fun.
i'm not into anything too much today, i guess.
i really wish he was here right now.
i don't feel very well today.

braintrash 3

kuli, beides zusammen A4, '08

sehr alt

schon früh war meine seltsame affinität zu brüsten erkennbar...

was dedicated to the moon again

finally took it off the wall...

i guess, he likes it better this way.

"Dann lüge ich in sein schönes Gesicht:

Ich wünsche ihm Unglück, dass ihn zerbricht." 

       (eva strittmatter: "der winter nach der schlimmen liebe")

wie uns auf den leib geschrieben.

ich liebe eva strittmatter, ihr mann ist auch sehr genial...

schade, dass ich ein zu schlechter mensch bin, um ihn einfach für immer zu lieben für das, was er Gutes für mich getan hat.

ich werde ihn wohl für immer tief in mir hassen für all das andere.

adidas zx

'10

die idee stammt nicht von mir.
ich weiß nicht mehr woher, aber nicht aus meinem kopf.
lediglich der chara+clothes belongs to me.
lover her shoes!

i'm not okay with this whole boyfriend-exboyfriend-myself-between-both-of-them-bullshit.
what did the wolf do yesterday exactly except drinkin' so much that he probably can't remember anything!!?
fuck!

even my boyfriend says there's sumthing really wrong with my brain

'08

very old and not very good.
can't count the innumerable times i drew my moon.
i remember every single time he broke my heart like it's been yesterday.
he was my inexhaustible muse.
the fuel to my fire.
it still fuckin' hurts.
he will never understand what he did to me.
too bad.

and the one i should think about now just wrote me that he loves me.
without reason, just to tell me.
i can't remember the moon doin' that.

what the FUCK is the matter with me, that i can't just accept how happy i am!?
"you're like the root to my evil,
u let my devil come out me,
you let me beat the shit out u,
before u beat the shit out me.
and no matter how much, too much is never enough.
maybe cause we're crazy in love?"

confusing shit!

Jargo, '10

he will always be our baby.
maybe that's the reason why i love my tomcat so much.

i don't think i should go, i don't feel good about it.
but i need to know, what exactly happens when i look into his eyes.

but i'm scared.

so sorry

white pastel on black paper, '10

hangooooooooooooover!!
great to meet reen again. and his girlfriend.
good to see fuks. not good that he still thinks being together with the moon would be the best for me. i guess he only wants to see that it can work, so that he don't need to accept that his "relationship" is shit. and will always be.
i was too drunk, but it was just nostalgia, that's why i been sad.
nice to see chris.

i'm so sorry for doubting US just because of him and 'cause i'm scared to death.
i hope you can forgive me.
no more "from primary school until we both die".
you are the one i choose.
thank u for being so damn understanding and not givin up on me.
i love u,
a.

Beer

'10

i learned some very important things yesterday.
1. ich hatte ganz vergessen, dass ich in möebbi einen guten freund habe.
2. Beer: WAY better than no beer.
3. ich würde gern mal ein bier mit banksy trinken (schön zu merken, dass nicht der erste gedanke ist: ich wills mit ihm treiben)
4. I größerals3 Kobe und ich denke nicht, dass es etwas gibt, was ich tun würde, womit ich das was wir haben aufs spiel setzen würde.

great quotes from "exit through the gift shop":
"I used to encourage everyone to make art," (long pregnant, beautifully timed pause). "I don't really do that anymore." - banksy
"Yeah, I was faced with that terrible thing, when somebody shows you their work and everything about it is shit... so... you don't really know where to start" - banksy
"He’s just kind of retarded," a worker on the ‘Life Is Beautiful’ show says.

really an entertaining movie, 'though it's a hoax. banksyish eben.

haha, hitler!

'09

 "Wie bitter ist es, wenn der Jubel der Welt der Niederlage, der tiefsten Demütigung des eigenen Landes gilt!?“
thomas mann an das deutsche volk, 10. mai 1945, in "Deutsche hörer!" im radio aus dem exil.
ganz großer satz...
notiz an mich: unbedingt komplett anhören! ----> gibts sogar bei youtube.

schlaflos

portrait, 10x10

Come, take a walk with me!, 10x10

frog costume, 10x10, okt '10

i can't sleep.
indian ink, acryl, leichtstrukturpaste und graphit uff leinwand.ein triptychon für meine gute freundin natalie.
oder "tricolo oder wie das heißt", wie sie es liebevoll nennt...

kuchen!

19/10/10

i'm so in fucking love with you.
i hate myself for being so happy.
it's disgusting!
this is just so not me........
whatever.
ich BUK einen kuchen heute.
vielleicht hatte dr dre unrecht mit "you can't make a hoe a housewife"...
thank god he send him to save me.
und morgen ist offizieller käsekuchentag!

lack of silence

indian ink, '10

ich hasse silence...
macht mich wahnsinnig.
und nebenbei, merke:
"Always be yourself... unless you suck." - Joss Whedon

music

'09

eigentlich sollte das eine skizze für eine leinwand werden.
aber alles geriet außer kontrolle.
und dann...
war es das wohl nicht mehr.
keiner weiß warum.

ps: das jobcenter mitte ist eine arbeitsgemeinschaft des bezirks arschloch.

tattooed buttertape

jonah and olive, '10

he came home, like 1:30, i been worried where he's been, what the hell he's been doin'...
he said it.
he could not have chosen a better moment.

(edit: by the way, now that i'm not as exhausted and confused as when i wrote this above: jonah and olive belong to a story called "fight & fuck & run & smile".
I already drew character sheets for both and got a story in my head, but unfortunately that's all.
hope i will find the time soon, but i'm not very convinced of it...)

braintrash 2

pencil on paper, '10

dedicated to my moon

first date

kuli, filzstift, '09

my little tarsier on his first date, how cute he is!!
of course lillith will always be the one for him, but since she refuses he gotta try something new...

buttons

"in love"
kuli, pinker filzstift on paper,  '09

don't go

pencil on paper, ca. '08

whenever you take just one piece of dirty laundry with you, i'm scared, u do it not because u want to wash it, but because u plan to not come back.

barfed colors on it

colored but still braintrash
crayons+indian ink on paper, okt '10

i colored and colored and when i looked up i almost barfed.

i hate it.

so i stopped, i thought more colors would only make it more horrible.

too bad, i really liked the lineart...

think im gonna do it again, in monochrome.

somehow fits better, don't it...

catching the night

 the only thing i like about the pic is the "catching the night" part.

maybe i just throw away my crayons, just keep a few, so i won't screw up my next coloration.

nevertheless it was fun.

braintrash

indian ink on paper, okt '10

lineart

ca. einen tag mit vorzeichnung etc, aufgrund meiner aufmerksamkeitsspanne einer stubenfliege

the moon's birthday

02/10/09

exactly one year ago.
when i still was so desperatly in love with you.
but when i'm honest, it still makes me sad, that i'm not with you today and she is.
but this was my decision, right?